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The rose

It didn’t take me long to recognise Shikha in the crowded mall. Even after 20 years, her radiance was still…

The rose

Illustration: Debabrata Chakrabarti

It didn’t take me long to recognise Shikha in the crowded mall. Even after 20 years, her radiance was still the same. I couldn’t, of course, say the same about myself with my bushy moustache and extra pounds. Yet, her eyes shone brightly when she saw me staring at her.

My heart skipped a few beats. She was a stunner in school. Now, she looked like a goddess. Her lush black tresses caressed her delicate shoulders as she walked towards me in a manner befitting a queen. Control, said my brain. That school romance cannot rekindle again. It was something that had blossomed and withered within the boundaries of the school. Still my knees were shaking just like they used to when Shikha would enter the classroom.

“Abir, what a pleasant surprise”! She said putting her arms around me.
Ah, she was still the same — confident, smart and dangerously beautiful. In school, I was the envy of all the other boys. She was like a trophy, which gave me a psychological upper hand. But now times were different. I looked around surreptitiously.

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“You’ve put on weight,” she said punching my protruding belly.

“Yes,” I answered sheepishly.

“Let’s sit and talk. Care for some coffee?” She asked in a manner, which couldn’t be turned down. I took a table behind a pillar.

My wife, Aditi, knew about Shikha and I was sure she would not mind meeting her. Probably due to my ever expanding waistline, Aditi was confident of my incapability in infidelity. Yet, I was fearful that day. Maybe I was trying to hide my marital status from Shikha. Somewhere there was shame, regret, lament that I couldn’t fulfill a promise made years back.

“So what’s up with you these days?” I asked her after taking a long sip of cold coffee. Now tell me you got married. Tell me about your kids. Tell me something that will make me feel less uncomfortable.

“Nothing,” she replied with a smile.

I raised my eyebrows. She shrugged her shoulders. “Nothing remarkable, really. I’m working in a bank these days. Nine to five job.” After some hesitation, she added, “I tried contacting you several times after school. But I think you had left Delhi.”

The noise in the mall was deafening. Some loud music was being played. Everyone was chatting at the top of their voices. On other days, it would have irked me. Today, somehow it eased the tension in my mind.

It wasn’t that I wanted to break off all contact with her. There were days when I yearned to hear her voice. But I was so preoccupied with my engineering that my childhood romance got buried somewhere. And then there was Aditi.
“I…I was busy with my studies. You know the pressures in engineering colleges.” I blurted out.

She smiled, “Of course.”

She had not yet touched her coffee while I was about to finish mine. I kept fiddling with the straw unable to decide what to ask her next. I feared asking about her family although I was craving to know. I cursed myself for not being on Facebook.

“So what’s up with you these days? You must be married. Where’s your wife?” She asked casually.

My phone buzzed. It was Aditi. She must have finished her shopping. There was a sale going on. And on weekends we had nothing else to do than visit malls.

Shikha was looking at me across the table, waiting for my answer. The brightly lit food court was accentuating her beauty. She looked irresistible.

“I didn’t marry,” I said.

She held her breath, the colour rising to her cheeks. She finally tasted her coffee. Then with a sigh, she asked, “Can I have your number?”

I couldn’t suppress a smile. She was still in love with me. “Yes. It’s 98….” I stopped. Shikha was holding her phone and inside the transparent back cover was a withered rose.

There are moments in life which remain etched in your memory forever. One such moment was when I had plucked a rose from my garden and given it to her. That she still kept that rose even after so many years made me desire her with a renewed passion.

Aditi was ringing again. I would have disconnected it, had Shikha not interrupted. “Attend your call. I need to leave anyway.” She got up gracefully and started to leave before adding, “I’m staying in the Ginger hotel. Let’s catch up tomorrow.”

***

“Where were you? I called you so many times,” Aditi remarked when I finally met her outside a handbag store. She was holding several shopping bags in one hand and with the other was clutching Ayush’s shoulder. He was happily munching on a doughnut.

“I couldn’t hear. There was too much noise.” I couldn’t think of a better reply. And I didn’t have the courage to speak about Shikha.

“Uh… Whatever! Let’s have dinner. Ayush is starving. By the way, see what all we bought.” She showed me all her shopping bags as I desperately waited for the next day when I could meet Shikha again.

***

Next morning I woke up late as I had thought of Shikha the entire night. Still, I was feeling wonderfully fresh and happy. And hopelessly young! I rummaged through my wardrobe to select my best clothes, something worthy of Shikha, all the while humming songs. My youthful eagerness to meet her made me laugh.

Aditi was waiting for me at the breakfast table. She looked worn out. Wrinkles had formed near her eyes and mouth. Her hair was dry and unkempt. My stomach churned. Did she come to know about Shikha?

“You look unwell?” I asked.

“No, I’m fine. Just the Mumbai humidity!” She replied. She kept staring at me without touching the food.

“What’s wrong? Why aren’t you eating?” I asked in between mouthfuls of butter-laden stuffed parathas.

She narrowed her eyes and said, “So you don’t know?”

My knees started shivering again. The churning resumed in my stomach. So she knows. How did she know? She must have checked my mobile. But I didn’t have any message from Shikha. Does that mean she saw the two of us yesterday?

My heart sank. I blamed my childish foolishness. How would I face her? And how would I face Ayush? My son calls me his role model. Now what will he think of me? A lump was forming in my throat. I imagined the two of them leaving me.

“Aditi, I can explain.” I said hurriedly.

“You don’t need to explain anything. I am just surprised.” She said with a smile.

I was surprised myself. How is she so relaxed? It was then that I noticed a bunch of red roses kept on the sofa. I cursed Shikha under my breath. How dare she send flowers at my place?

“Aditi, I don’t have any idea…” I began.

“Oh, you have plenty of ideas. That’s why you have given me roses. Happy Anniversary hubby”, she said with a smile. As if on cue, Ayush came running from his room and handed me a handmade card. “Happy anniversary Dad. Happy anniversary Mom. Dad, can we order pizza tonight?”

I picked up the bouquet. A note attached to it read, “Happy Anniversary.”

“They are beautiful,” remarked Aditi giving me a hug. I remained stupefied.

“By the way, yesterday during dinner, when you went to the restroom, guess whom I saw,” Aditi said. “I saw Shikha. I recognised her instantly from the photos that you once showed me. I must say she’s beautiful. After introducing myself, I told her to wait for you. But she said she was busy. I even invited her to dinner tonight saying that it’s our anniversary. She just congratulated me and left.” She waited for my reply. When I didn’t provide one, she gave me a frown and left the room.

I picked up the roses again. They were of the same colour as the one I had given Shikha.

I added some water to a vase and put them in it.

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