Hindu father, Muslim mother: Kunal Kemmu on raising Inaaya the way he and Soha see fit

Kunal Kemmu and Soha Ali Khan come from different religious backgrounds. He is from a Hindu family. She is from a Muslim family. They married in January 2015. Their daughter, Inaaya Naumi Kemmu, was born in September 2017 and will turn nine this year.

How they raise her is nobody else’s business. That, in essence, is what Kunal told IANS in an exclusive interview.

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“How you live your life is in your hands,” he said.

Instinct over everything

Kunal used one word more than any other when talking about parenting: instinctive.

He said he and Soha have never made parenting decisions based on what society expects or what will look good from the outside. Every choice, from the festivals they celebrate to the values they pass on, has come from within.

“We have been very instinctive. Luckily, I have had a friend, a partner and a wife now, who understands that I am an instinctive person and so is she. As far as parenting is concerned, we have a little experience now. She will be nine years old this year. But we did everything instinctively that we felt was right,” Kunal said.

They do not seek validation

Some people have liked their choices. Some have not. Kunal said the couple does not particularly care either way.

“It has been a journey that people have liked. But we never thought about what people would think and who would like it or not. Some people got offended in this journey, some people didn’t like certain things. But that’s okay,” he said.

He added that neither he nor Soha makes parenting decisions based on how they will be perceived. “We have never done anything thinking, ‘Let’s do this because it will look better’ or because people will think socially that we are doing the right thing or wrong,” he said.

This is a couple that has faced public scrutiny before. Soha Ali Khan spoke last year about the criticism directed at her interfaith marriage to Kunal, citing headlines around terms like “Love Jihad” and remarks such as “You took one of ours, now we will take one of yours.”

Where they disagree

Kunal did not pretend that he and Soha agree on everything. He was specific about where the differences show up.

“Sometimes there are things that I say there’s no need to do, but as a parent, it’s her right to do it. Similarly, there are many things where she tells me that the habits I am spoiling don’t look good. She’ll say don’t give her ice cream right now, but I feed it to her when I think it’s the right time,” he said.